I named my company WOMEN WHO ASK. Which begs the question… What does is mean to be a woman who asks? What type of woman is that? What does she believe? What does she ask for, anyway? And why?
Here’s my personal definition.
This is… a woman who asks.
She’s always looking for new ways to upgrade her life. Less stress. Fewer hassles. More leisure time. More vacations. More adventures. And yes, absolutely, more money.
She understands the importance of setting priorities in life. She understands that we can’t have everything we want, all at the same time, but often… we can get the parts that really matter.
She’s driven to excel at work, and be a leader, and she wants to get paid fairly and appropriately. Settling for a salary that’s 25% less than her male colleagues? Hell no.
She’s chasing her own personal definition of “success.” This could mean climbing to the top of the corporate ladder. It could mean home-schooling the kids. It could mean working 9-to-5 and pursuing a creative life on the side. It could mean starting a business or side-business. Or anything in between.
She wants to be “in the room where it happens.” She wants a seat at the table where decisions get made, but she doesn’t wait to be invited into the room—she asks for a chair.
She’s always looking for ways to negotiate—not just at work, but in everyday life. A lower phone bill. An extra side of salad dressing. A different date night option. Whatever she wants—she asks for it.
She doesn’t take “no” personally and sees it as an opportunity to negotiate. One of her favorite phrases is: “OK, I can understand that. Here’s another idea that might work even better for both of us…”
She understands that “asking” doesn’t mean “pushing” or “being aggressive” or acting “like a man.” It means listening, thinking creatively, and making reasonable requests that feel like a win-win for everyone involved.
She understands that the world isn’t fair. There’s sexism, racism, ageism, and many other frustrating -isms. She doesn’t turn a blind eye to those who need help. She shares her resources and knowledge generously.
She values self-reliance and personal responsibility. If there’s something that doesn’t feel right—something that’s unfair or frustrating—she doesn’t just wait around for things to change. She does her research, she organizes her thoughts, and then she asks for something better. She knows that if she doesn’t ask, then nothing’s going to change.
She’s so good at asking for what she wants, that when she asks, people respond by saying, “Wow! Thank you for asking.”
That… is a woman who asks!
I want to live in a world where every woman has the training and skills that she needs… to ask for anything she wants.