An awesome, FREE live webinar for professional women! How to Negotiate a Higher Salary (Without Feeling Pushy, Greedy or Ungrateful).
Feeling resentful about how much work you do and how much you (don't) get paid?
Avoiding a salary negotiation because
a) you hate negotiating
b) hate conflict or
c) you keep telling yourself that you should be happy with what you've got?
THIS IS FOR YOU.
Negotiating your salary does not have to be this weird, uber-competitive conversation with your boss that you wish you never started.
Honestly, there is a better way.
When you think of a good negotiator, what kind of person do you imagine? Do you conjure up the image of a man who’s tough, assertive, competitive, and hard-driving? Someone like Tom Cruise in Jerry Maguire, screaming “Show me the money”? If so, you’re not alone. I certainly had this stereotype when I started practicing law.
When I began working at a litigation firm, I had a lot of preconceived ideas about who the good negotiators were going to be (read macho, competitive men), and I assumed that the best negotiation style would be hard-driving and aggressive.
In fact, I was totally wrong. THANK GOODNESS!
The best negotiator at the law firm was an extremely soft-spoken, introverted woman. Her best assets: incredible preparation, being able to read what people really wanted instead of what they said they wanted, asking a boat-load of detailed questions, patience, and not being bothered a bit by uncomfortable silences.
Does this come as a surprise? Hopefully it’s a welcome one.
Have you ever felt that you don’t have the right personality to negotiate? Have you ever tried to adopt a style that feels forced or fake?
Witnessing the success of this soft-spoken woman at my firm showed me the value of finding a style that fits with your personality traits, rather that trying to adopt a style that fits with the stereotype of what makes a good negotiator.
In fact, we don’t need to reinvent the wheel when it comes to negotiation, but recognize that “negotiation” can be a set of qualities that we already have. While this idea might sound like wishful thinking, it has been backed up by some compelling evidence.
A Harvard study showed that when women were simply told that “good negotiation” matched a set of stereotypically female traits (good listening ability, sympathy towards other’s feelings, etc.) they outperformed their male counterparts.
So the study acknowledges that the gender stereotypes (not truths) that women aren’t as good at negotiating actually prevents women from performing as well in negotiations. But what was fascinating was that "women outperform men …. when they are told that feminine traits are linked with success and masculine traits are linked with ineffectiveness.”
Wait, what? All we have to do is be reminded that good negotiators are good listeners, empathetic, ethical, and flexible -- all the ways many of us see ourselves already - and then we become better negotiators.
What this reveals is that we don’t need to learn how to be more masculine or aggressive. Instead, we need to recognize that good negotiators are people just like you and me.
I bet YOU are an excellent negotiator, my friend.
And if you need a little reminding of all the amazing qualities, skills and strengths you have that make you an amazing employee and a damn good negotiator to boot, then come JOIN ME on the LIVE WEBINAR: How to Negotiate a Higher Salary (Without Feeling Pushy, Greedy or Ungrateful).
Can't wait to see you there!